I've Heard that Song Before - Recipe for Change

"It seems to me I've heard that song before,
It's from an old familiar score
I know it well that melody."

I was listening to this song last week for the purpose of learning it. It was written by the famous team of Jule Styne and Sammy Cahn, recorded by Harry James and his Orchestra with Helen Forrest on vocals and became a pop hit in early 1943. Like many songs of that era, it speaks to memories and love lost during wartime. Sad, but sweet.

It occurs to me that the lyrics of this song could relate to my life, and how some of the daily tasks or situations in which I find myself have been repeated over and over (I've heard that song before). I thought perhaps, while acknowledging that I recognize that it is a similar tune (I know it well, that melody), I could think of a different way to perform this tune (task or situation) to facilitate a different outcome. Even if the original outcome for me is working just fine.

For instance, I've read that putting your pants on starting with the "other" leg, forces you to reconsider that small act. I've tried this, and find that it does make you think differently, forcing you out of an old habit just for a moment (I habitually start with the right leg). Any yoga or pilates teacher or physical therapist will tell you that switching sides when vacuuming, raking or shoveling snow helps your body be more balanced in its strength and coordination. So although our natural proclivity may be to always vacuum right (or left) handed, it's worth it to give equal time to the other side - I know my brain works harder, less on automatic pilot when I vacuum or shovel left-handed. Perhaps a little slower at first, but I get the job done.

Another way to make a change and promote a different kind of balance: if I normally didn't greet the people I pass on my walks (or the cashier, mail carrier, or woman in the next office cubicle), I could try nodding my head or just saying hello, and see if that helps me feel friendlier and more connected to the people around me. The worst that could happen is that they don't return the favor - the best outcome (and I am one to assume the best of people) is that that friendly gesture makes both me and the recipient of the "hello" feel noticed and appreciated. Small gestures can be very powerful and are not to be underestimated.

Making small changes like this can feel like a challenge at first, but practiced over time, can lead us to more thoughtfulness about our daily life, a feeling of connection with those around us, and a new and satisfying comfort level with change. All of this may engender a renewed feeling of openness and well-being. Positively.

The photo above is of American singer Helen Forrest, who began singing at age 10, in her brother's band, worked for big band leaders Artie Shaw and Bennie Goodman, then Nat King Cole and Lionel Hampton, before being hired by Harry James. She left Harry James' Orchestra in 1943 to pursue a solo career, appearing on radio and in movies before singing with the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra, then led by Sam Donahue (it was the early 1960s). Helen Forrest recorded over 500 songs during her long career and didn't retire until her 70s, when arthritis forced her to give up performing. Given all that she did in her lifetime, she is clearly a great role model for change.

Feed and Water your Relationships

This is my gorgeous flowering cactus, given to me by a favorite cousin-in-law who now lives on the west coast and whom I haven't seen in years. When Karen gave me this plant 18 years or so ago it was much smaller and had just a few flowers. I don't remember the occasion, but it was a very thoughtful gesture and having the plant in my kitchen prompts me to think of her often.

My cactus has flowered reliably twice a year, usually right after Thanksgiving and again in the Spring, for many years. It's survived a move, a couple of repottings, lack of sun, overwatering, sunburn, and near drowning in June of 2006 when I left it on the back porch while we had record rainfall here in New England. It's been knocked over, had branches broken off by passersby, and hit with a football, a tennis ball and whatever other kind of ball my guys would play in the kitchen when I wasn't looking.

For the past year or two, my old friend the flowering cactus was mostly dormant, flowering sporadically if at all, and looked pale and unhealthy. I realized, at last, that I hadn't been paying much attention to this old friend and it was suffering from simple neglect. After a few well-timed doses of plant food, water and summer sunshine (but not too much), it's healthy as ever and blooming like crazy.

It occurred to me that relationships, whether business or personal, can suffer equally from neglect, and can be revitalized with a little TLC. Thank your spouse for the delicious breakfast, tell your child he did a great job on that math test, email a friend you've missed, call the customer you haven't heard from in a while and ask how she's doing. You know what to do . . . .