In grade school we learned that chipmunks, bears, and other warm-blooded animals hibernate in winter, which allows them to survive the colder temperatures. I've been thinking a lot about this: perhaps New Englanders should strongly consider hibernation. A good time to begin may be as soon as the Thanksgiving dishes are washed and put away. We'd snuggle into our caves with full bellies, our body temperatures would drop and we'd survive on our stored body fat until Spring, to awaken just in time for the Boston Marathon. The long-suffering residents of Hopkinton would need to emerge early to get ready for the onslaught of racers, but at least they'd be well-rested. The remainder of us would be content to lie drowsily on the sofa watching the race on TV while replenishing our body fat stores with whatever snack foods we'd squirreled away. Halloween candy?
Perhaps you'd rather a modified hibernation; staying inside, but not sleeping the winter away. Technology lets us perform most of the tasks of living in society without ever leaving our homes. Work, chatting with family and friends, purchasing shoes from Zappos, choosing furniture or groceries for delivery, sending flowers to Mom or paying bills - all can be accomplished online while ensconced in a comfortable chair. We'd save on dry cleaning by dressing in our cozy, machine washable, sweatpants. Wii Fit games and yoga on DVD would help us stay in shape. Unlimited music, movies, Sporcle, and Seinfeld repeats would keep us entertained and if we wanted to learn, online courses for credit or otherwise are plentiful.
There'd be a Facebook fan page for hibernation where we'd compare notes and upload photos from our Blackberries, and #hibernate would trend on Twitter. New iPhone apps would abound.
It's a little late in the season to start now, but let's talk about it after your summer vacation and work out the details for next winter. And if you'd rather not participate, would you please shovel my front walk while I hibernate?
The gorgeous photo of the bear came from:
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